Multiple Clouds? !? (Cloud Computing Rap)

"Let me ask one simple question. Is there one cloud, or are there multiple clouds? This is a debate that I have heard a number of times already. One side of this argument is public versus private clouds. Can a private implementation of cloud technologies be called a cloud at all, …" Jordi Gonzalez Segura, Director Applications & Integration at Avanade, LinkedIn discussion.

First comment: "There is an open discussion about this…." Alfonso Olias Sanz, M.Sc., Senior Consultant

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©2009 Gregory F. Pfister

SPLAT.

<Lightning, thunder, dark storm clouds on top of Mount Volume.>

I AM the Lord Thy INTERNET who hath brought thee out of land of SNA and DECNET, out of the house of proprietary bondage. Thou SHALT NOT have other clouds before ME.

And whosoever shalt obtain services of any species through the crossing of MY domains SHALL be deemed to be cloud computing, across the ONE CLOUD, which I AM. Thou SHALT NOT virtualize anything else in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; thou shalt not serve platforms or infrastructure or any other thing except across the ONE CLOUD which I AM, for I the Lord thy Cloud am a jealous Cloud, punishing the iniquities of Release 1 upon the children to the third and fourth generations of the software that shall hate ME…

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What, who dareth break…

Yo, homies, gotta know it's the Prince a' Darkness now, don't you go freak at that old mutha's cow. He is the road, there ain't no denyin', but the other side is what I'm spyin'. Clouds a' servers, that's what I catch, so lay down your load and it's gonna match.

They go in and out
Clouds they elastic bound!
They go in and out
Got one from Am a zon.
They go in and out
You got Googles, too
They go in and out
You got a whole damn zoo.

Yo it's on the other side, that's where it's groovin', in a cloud where you deploy it out so it's movin'. They're how build your stuff, not just how you get it, unless you're talking SaaS and then you can just fugget it, cuz SaaS, that's just a billing plan it ain't no tech, I ain't no CPA, you just get off my neck.

They go in and out
Get big just like you like it
They go in and out.
Get small you don't invite it
They go in and out
Babe they got what you need
They go in and out
It's just like smokin' good weed.

Got your privates, too, you know there's no denyin', public cloudies are cool, but you know I'm not lying when I say you watch out, might get security diseases, need protection there, and that messes up you action, gotta stay wit' cha homies to get real satisfaction.

Talkin' cloud computing, yall.
They go in and out
Elastic com pu ta shun
They go in and out
You don't get it you just get on your short bus and ride out of here, yeah.

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OK, when I saw that question, asked by someone in a significant position in a company engaged in cloud computing, being seriously asked, and seriously replied to, as something actually being discussed … my brain exploded. That's the initial SPLAT.

It feels better now.

I've been putting off a ridiculously long discussion of what clouds are – not yet another definition, &deity help us all – but this has convinced me I shouldn't put it off longer. I am in the middle of a contract to sell my house and move, so this is the worst possible time, but I'm going to try.

At least some of what's above is probably not real comprehensible without that discussion. Sorry about that.

For the record, the initial biblical language was customized from this source.

Oh, yeah, and for the record, again, ©2009 Gregory F. Pfister, dammit.